big fat liar.

i'm so frustrated. i want to run to the sea. i want to scream until all my breath has left me. i want to sit on wet sand and cry while allowing waves to wash over my feet. i want to walk along the coast all night and just cry. i want to hear the calming voices of the waves telling me it's alright even though deep down, i know it's not. i want to just look up at the vastness of the skies, at the endless stars, praying that everything will be fine.

i really cant pretend no more. who am i to lie even to myself?

i keep trying to convince myself that i'm fine, that i'm over it. that i'm strong and whatever i face, i can do what i always do: put up a smile and just wave it off.

WHAT A BIG FAT LIAR.

i can normally do that. put up a smile and just wave it off, i mean. heck, i'd never worry about problems after a very short while. but this..? *pulls hair. i really really dont know what to do.

everything happens for a reason, they say. yeah sure. i believe that. i've been trying to convince myself that all this happened so i have space in life to pursue my dreams. so i can travel, see the world..

BUT WHY DO I KEEP FEELING LIKE THIS IS ALL SO WRONG??

@ 12:21 AM