a love to kill.

my so happily excited mood has been deflated.

finally, after endless hours of waiting, i've finished watching my darling rain's a love to kill. and i'm not happy. wanna know why?

SPOILER ALERT AHEAD FOR ANYONE WHO PLANS TO WATCH!

because they died. in the end. it was such a tragic, sad, love storyyy.. sadder even than romeo and juliet. such sad love.. aghhh.. they wouldnt have died if they didnt separate from each other in the first place; each thinking that it would be the best path for the both of them. their love was so strong that they couldnt endure the separation in the end. i do NOT like sad endings. at ALL. but it was still such a beautiful story anyway.

if somehow i choose a different path in mass comm in the future and think of making movies/dramas instead, i'm going to make as many happy endings as i can. where everyone ends up happy. no one cries, no one dies..

but right now, i'm still so sad.




a love to kill summary..


it started with a guy - kang bok-gu, a pro fighter who only fights for pride but not for victory. he's had a tough life; his mother left him and his older brother kang min-gu when they were only children because she couldnt stand their father anymore who was a gangster. their father used to hit bok-gu every time, but min-gu would always stick up for his little brother by taking the blows instead. thus, min-gu was the whole world to bok-gu.

one day, however, when they were much older, min-gu tried persuading bok-gu to stop fighting because bok-gu always got into trouble by fighting with everyone. bok-gu shot back, saying he couldnt take being looked down upon because of their father's history. they were always bullied by everyone else just because of their father; he said he'll never stop fighting. but min-gu was persistent. he didnt want to see his brother follow in their fathers' footsteps. in the end, because bok-gu still wouldnt agree with him, min-gu decided to break off all their ties. he said that if bok-gu wanted to continue fighting, then they would no longer be brothers.

and so they stopped contacting each other. for ten years, they each led their separate lives. bok-gu continued fighting. he grew to be a bitter person; scarred by his past. he had a life, but he had a terrible background, and he knew it. he didnt have respect for his own life. but worst of all, he knew he didnt have his brother, and that was what hurt him the most.

he lived with his friends, and a girlfriend - han da jeong. she was more a saviour to him because she was the one who got him safe when he was in a terrible fire. from then on, he paid her back by caring for her. she, on her part, loved him more than anyone else could.

one day, bok-gu finally found his brother. they met up and had a drink on the rooftops of min-gu's place. however, tragedy befell as min-gu walked off the ledge of the building while he was staring at movie star cha eun suk's commercial on a big screen nearby. he ended up becoming a vegetable; not able to talk, not able to think, not able to respond to anything. the doctors said it was a miracle he even woke up due to his injury. bok-gu was furious. furious at his brother as he felt that min-gu was doing this to leave him again.

as time went by, pieces of the puzzle slowly pieced themselves together. bok-gu found out that min-gu was actually cha eun suk's boyfriend before she became famous. min-gu fell to his current predicament because he was looking at an announcement of his beloved eun suk's engagement with the son of a rich tycoon. bok-gu assumed that eun suk left his brother when she became famous and left for someone she thought better. he assumed that she thought his brother was worthless. from then on, bok-gu vowed revenge. he promised his brother that he would pay back eun suk the same thing she did to his brother. worse, even.

however, there were things that bok-gu didnt know. eun suk was actually very much in love with min-gu. she looked for him countless times but he was the one who avoided her. it turned out that eun suk's mother was the one who told him to keep away because she said he was an obstacle in eun suk's then-just-rising career. min-gu, loving eun suk too much to keep her from succeeding, let her go and distanced himself from her.

and so it began.. all misunderstandings. from eun suk's forced engagement with kim jung soon.. to bok-gu becoming her bodyguard in order to avenge his brother's accident.. it was all mistakes from the very beginning.

bok-gu's revenge plan was to make eun-suk fall in love with him and to hurt her in the end just like he believed she did this brother. he wanted her to remember his brother's sad love story. he wanted her to never forget. he wanted her to hurt just as much as min-gu was hurting..

however, over the course of his 'pretend' love for eun suk, bok-gu started to question his doings. he wondered countless times, could it have been a mistake? was he doing something wrong? there might be a different explanation - because the more he got to know eun suk, the more he realized how innocent she is. her innocent smile, her innocent actions.. he didnt know what to think. worst of all, although he didnt admit it, he was actually starting to fall in love with her.

eun suk, of course, has been attracted to bok-gu from the very beginning. she fell in love with him.. and although bok-gu knew deep down, he felt something for her, he still has his mind set on his promise to his brother: to make eun suk suffer just as his brother did.

so, one day, when bok-gu was certain that eun suk was deeply in love with him, he broke up with her. he told her that he was only playing with her; that he was just trying to see how easy it would be to get a superstar like eun suk to fall for him. and it appears it was too easy, so he said he was sick of playing already as it was not much of a challenge.

eun suk was deeply hurt. she couldnt believe it. as for bok-gu, he'd left her with his own feelings in turmoil.

eun suk eventually found out that bok-gu was min-gu's brother. the same night bok-gu broke up with her, she called him again to meet him up; to tell him that she didnt regret any of the times she's spent with him. bok-gu, feeling that he's finally hurt her, let her in on the news about min-gu's accident. he told her about his condition. he told her about why he played her. he told her about the revenge. he told her about everything - but his own actual love for her.

eun suk left in a daze. but she returned after that, this time with a different purpose. she wanted to take care of min-gu because she felt it was all her fault that he was in the condition he's currently in and also because he was, after all, her boyfriend. bok-gu, not being able to bear the sight of eun-suk with his brother as well as his own love for her that hurts him seeing her in pain, finally decides to move min-gu away without telling her. he felt that she shouldnt be doing this; that she should just leave them be, as they are obviously from a different class.. that she should just continue living her life as it was before she met them..

bok-gu managed to disappear for a year.. until one fateful day brought the two of them to meet again. bok-gu told her that his brother passed away the year before. eun suk couldnt believe it. so she went to find bok-gu at his home - and saw min-gu there in a wheelchair.

min-gu was obviously getting better as he could even react to his surroundings and talk a bit, which was actually a miracle. so eun suk then took min-gu away with bok-gu's reluctant permission so she could care for him more.

as time wore on, min-gu realized that eun suk was actually more in love with his younger brother. that she was hurting for him; that she really needed him.. but, being unable to talk much, there wasnt anything he could do for the both of them..

finally, one day, min-gu passed on. but before he left, he had a final message for bok-gu.. 'do your best.. try your hardest.. not to let eun suk cry. eun suk loves you too.. not me. you're the one eun suk loves. whatever i cannot do for eun suk.. unable to love her, unable to treat her tenderly.. you must help me protect her, love her.. a thousand, ten thousand times more.'

bok-gu knew he couldnt do as his brother wished. after all, eun suk was still his brother's girl. besides, he still had da jeong too. he lived his days in misery after min-gu left - drinking every day, getting into fights.. and eun suk wasnt doing any better. she was in a daze herself. the two of them were obviously trying their best to fight their deep longing for each other as well.

one day, they finally met up. when the two of them finally could not take it anymore, they met up.. and decided that for that one day, they would go completely crazy and enjoy themselves.. and after that day is over, they would go on with their own lives. to live better, and to forget all that's ever happened before.. in order to forget each other, they would spend one whole day together..

they promised each other that they'd live well after that one day is over. because they knew, it was impossible for bok-gu to be with eun suk as his brother was everything to him, and being with eun suk would not be right in memory of his brother.. eun suk, on the other hand, understood, and knew that there was nothing she could do about it.

eun suk : until now.. what were your happiest moments? although it might be a difficult life, but surely there were happy moments?
bok-gu : the time when hyung (older brother) returned.
eun suk : the time hyung returned?
bok-gu : the hyung who abandoned me, and returned 10 years later.
eun suk : and up till now, the most fortunate moment?
bok-gu : when hyung regained consciousness.
eun suk : until now, the time your heart ached the most?
bok-gu : knowing the reason why my hyung left me for 10 years. in order to shoulder my blame, he went to the correctional institute. so he couldn't stay by my side. realised all this after seeing my hyung again.
eun suk : until now, the most painful moment?
bok-gu : when hyung abandoned me once again. to a place where i cannot find him. when he abandoned me and left.
eun suk : for kang bok-gu, what does kang min-gu represent? your hyung, is he by your side now? without kang min-gu, will kang bok-gu still exist? that's why it can't be me right? any other girl would be okay, only it can't be cha eun suk? really pitiful, cha eun seok. how unlucky, kang bok-gu.. get in the car. i am only sending you to the bottom of the mountain.

though it was hard, when morning came, they let go. they went on living their lives, successfully. but they it was obvious that although they existed, they didnt have a life. they werent happy. but they continued going on..

a year passed, and they've both achieved what they promised each other that final day together. it apparently seemed they were very successful, but only they themselves knew how much they were hurting inside.

finally, one day, eun suk couldnt take it anymore, she knew what a lie she was living. it was very cold as it was mid-winter, but she left for the mountains. it was where she told bok-gu her dream place was: 'in a forest in the mountains.. where no one can find me.'

alarmed that eun suk disappeared, bok-gu couldnt hide his feelings any longer. he hurried up to the mountains in search of her. he called and called for hours, but there was still no sign of eun suk. finally, when dusk settled and all was dark, bok-gu finally spotted eun suk unconscious in the snow.

in a desperate attempt to wake her up, he rubbed her warm, he hugged her, gave her his jacket; all the while apologizing and praying she'd regain consciousness.. but to no avail.

the next morning when the sun appeared, the two figures of eun suk and bok-gu could be seen on the snow; faces pale with cold. they were both unconscious, but a conversation exchanged between them..

eun suk : oh? what are you doing here?
bok-gu : because i long, can't endure the longing.
eun suk : i've been doing my best. nobody can see it. coolly, gracefully.. i've been trying hard.
bok-gu : i know.
eun suk : the movie has been filmed, the new car has been bought. even made wedding plans with kim joon sung.
bok-gu : i know.
eun suk : even deleted your name from my handphone. really, didn't think of you for a minute or a second.
bok-gu : i know.. until now, the second hardest thing.. was leaving a scar upon eun suk's heart.. and making eun suk shed all those tears. until now, the second happiest time.. was when eun suk forgave me. until now, the second most fortunate time.. was when eun suk said she still loved a person like me. thank you. it isn't cold. very warm. because i have hyung.. because i have da jeong.. because I have you.. so it's very warm.. for me in this world. thank you. for letting me love you..

and his hand dropped limply from eun suk as they both continued sleeping.. peacefully. he finally had her by his side once again, in that warm and clear morning..

and so it ended. the sad love story that was cursed from the very beginning.. the title of 'a love to kill' which is also otherwise known as 'the love of death' and 'this damned love'.. beautiful.

(c) 2005 joey.

@ 9:10 PM