retrospection.

time - they say it changes a lot of things. i guess that's true. and i know just as well as anyone else that those changes may have been for the better or worse depending on how we look at it..

all this time the memories have stayed; i cherished them so much altho they were the ones causing all the pain. the whys and the what ifs.. the scar's there - deep. but it's healing, slowly but sure. for three years it's stayed, now it's finally going. i will always remember, i wont ever forget..

if i could, i'd wait forever. as long as it takes.. but i know i cant, coz you no longer exist. the one i used to know is no longer here. all i am waiting for now is just a figment of imagination, a memory of who you used to be..

which is why i just feel this need to mark the closing of this chapter. a chapter with a story that lasted for such a short while but has left such a deep mark. one that hurt for at least three years after it ended.

so here's a tribute to a memory; a little something i still have from before:

tugging hard at the heart
this empty longing inside
wandering aimlessly
hoping so earnestly
for you

two and a half years
pretending i didnt care
hurting so much
this longing as such
for you

i thought i'd let go
i believed i was happy
living without you
without thoughts of us two
still i dream of you

yearning so badly
for something i shouldnt
existing in memories
making up my own stories
still i dream of you

but alas, it's hopeless
no fairytale ending
walking on by
in this big lie
in memories of you

i pray that you're happy
that she makes you smile
like how i used to
when it was us two
in memories of you

a big part of me gone
lost forever with you
i try to let go
yet i'm feeling so low
living without you

i miss you so much
wish circumstances've changed
but we've chosen this path
of a life that's so tough
living without you

(c) eleven 290406


there. it's been exactly three years and a week. life goes on. memories stay memories, not to be turned into hopes and fantasies.

i bid thee farewell, and good luck!

@ 1:18 AM