back!

just a note to say i'm back. in kl. and currently very happy. =D

@ 4:15 PM 0 Comments

leaving on a jetplane.

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go..

leaving in an hour's time. happy and sad. pretty effed up hahah. see you peeps in kl! mwahs.

@ 11:57 AM 0 Comments

mood: very happy.

okay altho it's already been a few days since debs told me, but just the thought's enough to cheer me up again: deb will be around when i go over to surabaya next month! heheh.. yay i'm so glad. i got so depressed when i found out she wont be there when i am, but it seems there's been an amazing change of plans. so yayyyy! =) it's been far too long. craziness will be reunited once more. *wide grin. surabaya will go down. =D cant wait!

AAAND a VERRYY HAPPY BDAY to my chiamie dahlings! woman, WOMAN. haha.. 20-yr-old woman. i've just realized that, soon, we'd be in the category that'd hate their age to be known lol.. but for now still oklar hoh =D and i still feel so bad for calling two hours late laa =( i really thought you were back in LA already! argh. haihhh but anyhows. i really hope you have a super birthday dahlings.. if only you're here for us to celebrate this time around..

caught up with eva yesterday in parkson. parkson! miri really has nowhere to go already lah.. haha.. but it's good that some things never change. had a good bitching session HAHA then went for night at the museum. weeell. i wouldnt say it's a great movie, nor would i say it's a completely horrible movie either. it was just like that. haha.. overall pretty alright light entertainment lah. and it had my owen wilson in it, so yeah. hehe ;)

and now i'm in with the dum dum gum gum hype.

you dum dum! =D

@ 11:45 PM 0 Comments

blah.

okay that's one problem settled. called mr kok the agent who manages our apartment unit and all he keeps saying is 'i'll talk to the owner i'll talk to the owner'. o_O aihh whatever lah. at least i called him. one worry off my list; for today at least.

been pretty dilemma-ed lately.. stuff.. another blast from the past.. then there's the whole cant wait to get back to kl thing but dont wanna leave home too..

haihs. been one confused bugger recently. needing cheer-up therapy bad.


How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, cannot share
Sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend its over
Must be brave and we must go on
Must not say
What we've known all along
- Joy Enriquez, How Can I Not Love You

@ 1:55 PM 0 Comments

just.. stuff.

"listen to me; it's you, and me now. this isnt my world anymore.

you're my world."

- michael vartan as kevin in monster-in-law.

*melts. hahah. a chick flick for a bad day. perfect. now if he'd just say that to me instead of j.lo. =D

@ 11:57 PM 0 Comments

'happy' new year?

it's like that malay peribahasa from back in school; 'sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga'. the one we used to always use in essays coz it was the easiest to remember - not forgetting the fact that bad luck's more fun to make up than trying to come up with realistic good stuff.

sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. i'm living the essay. it all began when i found out yesterday that deja vu isnt showing in miri anymore. fine lah, that wasnt too bad actually. it's not like i wont be able to watch it at all anymore. next.. the results finally arrived in the mail (dont ask me why the 'most creative and innovative' uni in malaysia doesnt have their results posted online; for that you're gonna hafta look for the main star of planet of the apes himself). after that, i get a call reminding me of that issue with my apartment in puchong i havent settled. o_O *frusfrusfrus to the max.

of course, idealistic 'run-away from problems' joanne keeps reminding me that hey, it could have been A LOT worse. but the other joanne: the realist, worrywart half.. well she's just standing there with arms crossed saying that it may be a lot worse, but it's not like it's not bad enough not to warrant proper worrying. celaka giving me so many 'nots'. damn load of negativity ah this one.

hence.. i'm back to worrying. results first of all. to tell the truth they're actually fine; but the one module i really wanna make it the most.. that's the one that's worrying me now. tasha calls it 'unfairly graded' coz well.. we're all in the same boat in this. but then. i just cant seem to not take it too personally.

a grade's a testament to show how well you're doing - well. to me it is anyway. and this grade.. to say the least, it's pretty much got me crushed. i've never been pretty high up there on the confidence scale, and now.. whatever belief i've actually managed to dig up deep inside about what i can do.. whatever little 'skills' i have.. they've all just gone back down the drain again. pretty depressing. i've finally found something i believeD i could at least learn to do well in, and now it feels like i can never be good enough. [now dont argue with me here. let me have my emo moment.] but the thing is.. it's true. agh. totally in the pits now.

and to make things worse.. i called shinki my housemate up yesterday too. okay, that's not the bad thing lah. the problem that we were discussing about was. our last housemate ran out on us a month ago, leaving us to pay for excess utility bills. but fine. that's not too bad.. the bad thing is.. our contract on that unit's till february, and there's no way we can cover paying for the whole unit even for one month! somemore our place is (absurdly) the one with the highest rent in vista prima: rm1200/month for whole unit. wtf. to make matters worse, that last housemate used her own furniture in her room last semester, and now that she's gone, she's taken them with her - leaving that room bare. and shinki and i now gotta deal not only with getting a new housemate, but also one that would actually get an almost empty room for rm400!

*tears. i dont know what to do.. i swear. happy joanne's going 'no need to worry laa.. like usual, just dont think about it for a while and all your worries would be gone..' and i'm so tempted. but i cant. this is too big an issue to ignore..

oh fuck.

and while typing this another thought just occured to me. i've already been dying to get to that rain concert.. and now that i probably have to cover for this month's empty-room rent.. there's no way in this world i'm ever gonna get there now.

great lah.

what a perfect way to start off a new year.

@ 2:33 PM 0 Comments

2006 in reflection. [late submission.]

this is a long-overdue new year's eve retrospection post.. which confirms the fact that yet another new year's resolution from last year didnt make it: the one where i said i'd stop procrastinating.

so, about five days late, here i am. another year's come and passed. feeling a bit older loh, honestly. gonne be hitting the big 2-0's in three months and six days. o_O three months and six days left of being able to get excused for immaturity! ohno. =(

2006.

god. i really dont know where to start. right now all i'm feeling is that the year passed too fast; and everything that happened.. it was as if they were meant to happen like how they did. like it was all part of the plan. i dont quite know how to put it into words (i swear, my english has been slowly getting out of whack too) but yeah. to put it simply, it's like it was all meant to be.


so. the routine highlights of the year.

this time last year, i was still doing that stint in cnbc asia. just this morning i was channel surfing and happened across the market watch and i went all nostalgic. the days of piecing together bits of the morning news with my producer adeline for the afternoon mobile-on-demand section. waching dr yeo editing on awesome AVID that i would so love to get my hands on.. *sigh.


last glance back before stepping into the lift.
inset: workstation in the distribution office.

and a year later here i am no better than a bum on his lousiest day. then again, i asked for it. heheh.. promised myself to have this last bum holiday before everything ahead. before LIFE. i know i wont have time like this in the future to waste anymore, which is why i decided to use this time to be back home just chilling my dearest and closest. after this, it'd be back to uni.. then perth.. then possibly work. eeks. i know i wont have a chance like this anymore.. so this is perfect for now. altho i know i keep complaining! haha.. but yeah. i digress. that bit of work in cnbc was great; and it's making me long for so much more! cantwaitcantwait.

THEN. darling debs came all the way from indo to miri and we met up in kuching as i was returning home on transit from singapore. it was SO GOOD to see her again and i swear, i've never had a shorter plane ride! hahah.. catching up on all those missed months.. then bringing debs around miri with chiamie.. having rojak and chendol.. super cheese prawn.. tiramisu cake at marriott! heehee. good times spent just chilling.


agh i fckn miss these two crazy women. =(

february came.. back to uni. moved into c-09-05. started my first sem in masscomm degree. late nights with my room door open while the three fashion designers work away into the night.. korean dramas on ntv7 and 8tv.. awesome surprise bday party that chiamie dahlings masterminded *sniff.


cake-faced by tracy. eeks. haha..

i'm still so touched. *tears. OH and the HAIR INCIDENT! woman i dont know if you still remember it HAHA.. if you dont, ask me later and i shall enlighten you. involved hair+curler+many hours. heehee.

mid year. singapore with the family + one kevin lee!


with the two other fuggers.

haha.. then back home bumming on tv, tennis, and losing in ps2 winning eleven o_O kevin scored against me with his GOALIE. wtf. good memories man.. haha. then it was all good.. till chiamie left for texas. =( i've lost my boy-scouting partner, my dahlings, my kepo kaki all at once. i lose someone every semester; and yet there i was thinking i wouldnt be the last to leave. chiamie if you're reading this: I MISS YOU TRUCKLOADS. *tears.


come back come back we go watch rain! =(

then it was back to uni once more.. prima felt so different; so quiet. life just wasnt the same.. but added new 'chi mui' shinki heheh.. new kaki kdrama and rubbishtalk. also more adventures with the girls ie. driving to kl without getting lost and navigating thru all of petaling jaya and kelana jaya! haha.. 'starring' in our first feature film, sumolah. HAHA. funfairs and plays and k-sessions.. shootings and editings ohgod. jiwang sleepovers and bak kut teh and italiannie's. =D hahah.. thinking of it now, i so cant wait to get back. more fun times to come in the year ahead!


missing the retards.

hehe.. but that wasnt all. the best was yet to come, altho it was so late into the semester.. i got to know the nicest, sweetest, most awesome person ever: sajith! haha.. it's crazy. it's not something i can quite put into words, even if my english wasnt out of whack haha. switchfoot's 'you', the soundtrack of 'a lot like love'. lol. the most random things. my twin. =) see i'm even beginning to babble incoherently already.. so yeah. definitely not something i can explain heh. it all happened so late, but well then.. i've always liked saving the best for last anyway =)

sooooo.. the year finally closed on new year's eve with high school sweets over dinner and ushering in the new year with the oldest best friend. perfect. i love you woman. thanks for being there for me thru everything. now.. if you'd only get your ass to kl! heheheheh.. =)

so there ya go. my 2006 in a nutshell.

to say i've grown up this year.. well. i'm not too sure of that. maybe i did, but it's not something too obvious, compared to all the new experiences in 2005 and all that. this year definitely did something, but i guess it's more to the way i have begun thinking than anything else. my perception of things, how i understand things around me.. just that point in life where you realize you may have probably matured - altho DUH! i still dont act it. hehe..

so. here's to everyone out there:

may you all have an awesome year ahead; and accomplish all that you set out to do. huGs to all!

hrms. pretty short post eh this time? heheh.. see you next year!

@ 6:17 PM 1 Comments